Inferior Poet

July 18th 8:00am

i felt nothing before you came to my life. i am minding my own d*mned life and i’m just doin’ fine. nothing special, nothing to look forward to, just plain stagnant. there was even a time that i was asking myself what am i missing. i thought i’d be buried in hopelessness but i like it the way it was. and then one afternoon, you said “hi”. i could never forget that IM window that poped on the upper-left corner of my LT screen.

i don’t know why i went with the flow or maybe i was just really lonely. your so fine, i had fun talking to you and you didn’t seem obnoxious even with the peristency of confirmation which one am i in the picture.

i had my share of fire & magic and i know i could never feel that again. but i was wrong.. all the walls i built around me to protect myself and to keep me apart from anyone has been slowly tearin’ down. you’re tearing it down with every single message and conversations we had. my head says i should stop, turn around, and run fast away from you because its the most sensilble thing to do. but how can i when it feel so right?

i know where “this” would lead. you’re a future heart ache and i am not sure anymore if i’ll ever get through one again.. should i go? you might think i’m crazy because i’m getting it all wrong or i am thinking this is all bad. but i tell you, never thought i’d feel alive again.

July 19th 12:00am

don’t know what came over when i ask you to be at my side and share the blanket. maybe it was just the weather, yes, i blame it on the weather. it made me feel snuggly and as if it feel more comfortable if you are by my side. well, its just a thought.

yummy?! you’re being naughty… and i am too! hmmnn… i wonder what your hugs and kisses feels like. sharing stories and laughters, your hand in mine, my head in your shoulders, your face in my hands, your arms around me, and your lips next to mine. now, i can’t stop thinking about it. now, this is really your fault.

used to tell myself that i should limit our conversations but now i am looking forward to the next one. am i becoming addicted to you? this is not good. again, its your fault. you being so charming and all.

writing this is a surprise to me. i stop writing long ago because its making me feel. it makes me feel that i am a human, that i have a heart. sometimes feeling things gets tiring and traumatic, so, i stop writing and feeling.

can i ask you somethings? what is this to you? how far can you go? how much of yourself that you can give? is this the same for me as it to you?

i’m not just afraid of hurting myself. i am also afraid of hurting you. i want to protect you but protecting you could be hurting too.

July 19th 3:14am

can i see you? i want to.